Let me catch you up a little on my life right now. A few weeks ago I was attending school at BYU-Idaho and I also planned staying there this semester (for winter). I even bought a housing contract. At the time I had been praying for guidance on different things I needed to be doing with my life. A few weeks after that, my roommates convinced me to go to a meeting where people were talking about a service trip. I went with the attitude that it was dumb, and really just went for the free food ;). After I had learned about the amazing opportunity to go to another country, take care of children in orphanages, volunteer at a hospital, and teach children English, my attitude started to change. I felt that I needed to go home and make money, and I really wanted to do that! So, I was going to Romania! I canceled my housing contract and was prepared to go home and work.
Over the rest of the semester, I my desire to go to Romania started to decrease. Now don't get me wrong, I still want to go and think it would be an amazing opportunity, but at the moment I feel like it's not for me. I also didn't love the idea of going to another country for a few months with no one that I know... but that's another story. Although my desires started changing, I still felt that I needed to go home this semester. So, that's what I did.
I came home and got to spend the wonderful holidays with my family and loved ones. My sweet grandparents drove my brother and I all the way to Missouri from Utah and stayed with us for the Christmas season. I loved having them here. It was so nice to be home for Christmas and New Years and to create more lasting memories. We spent the holidays just relaxing, laughing, eating way too much food, and playing weird games that my family came up with.
During all of this, and even a little before, I got back together with my sweet boyfriend Colton (our story is long and complicated, so I can definitely save that one for another time). Let me just tell you, he is so patient and so great! He has taught me a bunch about selfless service, hard work, obedience, love, dedication, and true Christ-like attributes. He's the best! We've already done a ton of fun stuff together and have seen each other every day since I've been home.
After the holidays, my brother moved out to Utah to get ready for his wedding, all my friends/family went back to school and work, and I got a few weeks to be with my cute mom. I have loved every minute. We have spent a lot of time talking and being together, and she will never know the great impact that she has had on me. Throughout these last couple of weeks, she has helped me overcome some of my fears and problems, and has given me faith for the future.
I am taking online classes at the moment to continue my education and just got offered a job and I start on Monday!! It's bitter-sweet because I am so excited and so grateful, but bummed that I'm going to not have this precious time with my mom anymore.
So, from the looks of it, it may look like my life just fell into place and everything is perfect... but that's not exactly how it went. As I've thought about this post, I thought back to school and all of the stress that I faced. I had a lot of big decisions to make ahead of me. I remember multiple times crying in confusion not knowing what to do with my life. My mom is great and always listened to me, even though I probably drove her nuts because it was always the same conversation that we had.
Here's a couple examples of things I've had to worry about recently (Even since I've been home):
-Should I pick up and go to Romania for a few months?
-What if I get super homesick? Or am super lonely?
-What about school? When will I ever finish?
-If I go home what am I going to do?
-Where am I going to get a job?
-What do I do with my relationship with Colton? Will things workout?
-What if I can't save enough money for school?
-How am I going to balance online classes with work?
-Will my relationship with my brother decrease after he moves?
-What if I go crazy living at home?
Today I've pondered why and how all of these things have been working out and I know that there is one main solution... TRUST. I remember back a few months ago I was praying really hard for some guidance. I was asking God for answers and wondering why it felt like nothing was happening, and then answer came to me one day. I got the impression that God knows me and He knows me perfectly. He knows how I am and He knows how I function. Don't get so caught up in making decisions right now because if I'm doing what's right, He won't let me make a wrong decision. He will lead and guide me, but I must be patient. After having all of these thoughts, I turned to the scriptures and it automatically turned to my favorite one:
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Trust is all we need! If we trust in God, we can't go wrong. I strive to live by that and live with the mindset that "everything will work out", and I believe that's why it does. I'm not saying that everything is perfect, but I do know that because of God I have experienced a lot of blessings lately. I don't know all that the future entails, but I do know that as I continue to trust in Him, everything will work out. Let us all strive this new year to strengthen our relationships with Jesus Christ and trust Him in all circumstances.
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| My cute family with Nana and Gramps! |
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| Colton and I :) |
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| One of my favorite Christmas activities: ugly sweater making contest! |
