Friday, November 25, 2016
Thou Shalt Be Faithful
This week in class we talked about the importance of fidelity in marriage. When people think of being faithful, many times our minds are drawn instantly to cheating... but that's not it. Being faithful means being committed. It means loving your spouse with all of your might, mind, and strength. We must put our spouse first and never let ANYTHING or ANYONE get in the way of that. It all comes down to a choice. We must choose to put our spouse first and make them the most important person in our lives. Doing this will strength the bonds between both husband and wife and will make it harder for temptation to creep in. Most people that are unfaithful don't all of a sudden become that way. It's progression of little acts that may at first seem innocent that lead one to open their heart to someone else. We must stop those things before they even begin! Honestly, no joy is better than that that comes from being part of a marriage with mutual trust, respect, and commitment.
Saturday, November 19, 2016
A Time to Be Grateful
I love this time of year! It’s a time when we are surrounded
by family and those we love, we can eat delicious food, and we can spend a
little more time thinking about the things we are grateful for. The more we
focus on gratitude, the more likely we are to forget ourselves and put others
first. I wish that everyone made that such a focus year round!
We have just finished up a book called “Drawing Heaven Into
Your Marriage” in my Marriage class and I have loved reading it. I recommend it
to everyone! Check it out! This week’s chapter was on charity, and what a
perfect time to read it!
Charity is the pure love of Christ: love FOR Christ, love
FROM Christ, and love LIKE Christ. As we make Christ the center of our lives
and our marriages, there is no way that we can fail.
Love for Christ: When we have love for our Savior we will
want to follow Him. We will strive to become more like Him and rely on Him. We
will trust Him. Loving Christ will make us want to be better and will help us
make our marriages strong.
Love from Christ: Everyone is worthy of Christ’s love and
all deserve to feel it. When we feel it for ourselves we will be able to use it
to change. It will give us understanding of His great love for others that I
believe will help us develop more love for them as well. When we know that
Christ loves us despite our weaknesses, we can have no doubt that He has the
same love for our spouse.
Love like Christ: When we are able to feel love from Christ
and for Christ, we will naturally start to love LIKE He does. Christ was never
quick to anger, never criticized, He wasn’t easily offended or jumped to
conclusions. He was selfless, He put others’ needs over His own, He didn’t
judge but loved freely, He had an eternal perspective and saw everyone’s worth,
and much, much more! That is true charity.
Having charity in marriage is key to keeping it successful.
In my opinion there is no way that one can act as the Savior would and have a
failing marriage! But it is easier said than done. We must learn to stand strong
against Satan and his temptations because He will do all that He can to keep us
from making our marriages strong.
I believe that as we trust in the Lord, strive to follow His
example, pray for strength and charity, and have gratitude for our spouse, we
will be strong and our marriages will be blessed.
I know that for me every time that I try to be a little more
grateful I notice an increase of joy in my life and marriage. I can see many
great things in my husband that I may have overlooked or forgotten before.
Let us all remember what a wonderful gift marriage is and
make it known to your spouse!
Saturday, November 12, 2016
My Fairytale Ending
Growing up, I always dreamed about my fairytale ending:
meeting my prince charming and living happily ever after. Well, lucky for me, I
did it! I married the man of my dreams who makes me so happy and helps make all
of my dreams come true. But, that doesn’t mean my life is perfect. It’s
actually pretty far from perfect, but it’s the life that I love.
As time has gone on I’ve learned that no marriage is
perfect. There are arguments, disagreements, stress, adjusting and many more
emotions involved. In marriage you are taking two completely different lives
and putting them together as one. What else would you expect?! Hearing all
about the hardships in marriage can make one question if it’s even worth it,
but it is! Why is that? Because it is a CHOICE to let the negatives affect you
and your marriage or not. Marrying my sweet husband is the greatest decision
I’ve ever made despite the difficult things we may go through.
This week I learned a good lesson. While reading “The Seven
Principles for Making Marriage Work” I was reminded that no one is ever right!
In an argument or disagreement we always think that we are right and that we
know best. I believe that is why most arguments happen in the first place. We
think that we know our spouse’s intentions and thoughts, when the truth is, WE
DON’T. All disagreements are subjective. That is why we must strive to
understand our spouse. We must let them know that we accept their personality
and perspective. People aren’t willing to change if they are constantly feeling
targeted. They are most likely willing to change if they feel liked and
appreciated. That goes both ways.
Some great ways to help our spouse feel loved and accepted
if by first turning our focus. We should not blame or criticize but rather
evaluate ourselves first.
What am I doing to make this an issue?
What can I change to help solve this problem?
How am I feeling?
How can I help my spouse feel loved?
Another way we can help our spouse is to treat them like we
would treat company. Whenever someone is over we are sensitive to their
feelings, we treat them with respect, we listen to them while they communicate,
and if something goes wrong we don’t freak out but are happy and accepting.
There is no reason why our spouses should ever get treated differently! But,
it’s easier said than done. It takes constant thought and work in my opinion.
One of the greatest ways to help our spouse is to learn to
completely turn our lives over to God and them individually. That is where true
joy comes from. If our thoughts, hearts, and actions are focused on pleasing
God and our spouse, what really can go wrong? Every sacrifice brings blessings,
and a joyful marriage now and forever is one blessing worth sacrificing for.
All marriages will have their ups and downs, but if we are
committed to our spouse and love them with all that we have, every issue will
either get solved or in the long run won’t be an issue at all. And, looking back, every challenge that I've
faced so far has been a blessing in the long run. Every single time I've come
out stronger.
Friday, November 4, 2016
Say NO to Pride
Growing up I never felt like I had a good
understanding of what pride was. As I get older and strive to strengthen my
marriage, I am learning that it is all around us and must be fought in order to
truly be happy.
Examples of pride:
-Irritation or annoyance
with spouse
-Selfishness, ignoring
spouse’s needs
-Contention, arguments,
fights
-Thinking we know all,
thinking we are better than others
-Comparing, score keeping
-Intentionally creating
jealousy
-Faultfinding in spouse and
others
I have a lot of work to do! Pride can destroy
marriages and invites Satan to do his thing. We must evaluate ourselves and
strive to improve. Even if one person in a relationship is increasing their
humility it makes all the difference.
A few ways that we can become more humble are
to: strive to understand our companions, realize that we don’t know all and
that our spouses have feelings and thoughts of their own, let our spouses speak
for themselves, put their needs over our own, pray for help and forgiveness to
overcome our shortcomings, forgive others, receive chastisement, love God, and
selflessly serve others.
H. Wallace Goddard said, “…if we sacrifice our
own wants and needs, in favor of our spouse’s…we will find true joy and
happiness.” THAT is exactly what I want in this life. I want true joy and
happiness. We are told pretty clearly that if that’s what we want we must
sacrifice for those we love. Getting rid of our pride is one of the greatest
ways that we can become more like Jesus Christ. I believe that no matter how hard
it may be, it will be so worth it in the end!
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