What exactly is culture? It refers to beliefs and values of a certain group of people. It is their behavioral patterns and tendencies. The interesting thing about culture is that it can change over time. It may change when you gets married, or when a child is born, or when a drastic event happens in your life... It's not always constant. But in the end, culture is how we live our lives based on our beliefs.
More times than not, we as people see OUR culture as the way things should be. We even often times don't realize how different other cultures are until they clash and cause conflict with ours. This is a common issue when interacting with other people: whether it being marriage (as stated earlier), or even just getting new roommates. People were raised a certain way, and expect everyone to be on the same page as them when it comes to the way things should be done.
Let me give you a few examples of me and my family culture:
1. While growing up, I would watch my mom talk to her mom on the phone every single day. When I was younger I thought it was crazy! I look at myself now, and I do the same thing. Faithfully, some time each day I give my mom a call, not because I feel that I have to, but because I love it and it has become "important" to me. I find myself thinking it's the weirdest thing ever when my friends only talk to their mom once a week, when to them it's probably completely normal. But not only that, I am probably looked at as a weirdo as well.
2. In my home we eat dinner together as a family EVERY NIGHT whether everyone is there or not. Not only that, but it's at the dinner table and no technology is allowed. To me it's normal. I would often times go to my friend's homes and they would eat in front of the TV, or have to find food to feed themselves, or everyone would eat at different times. This is NOT a bad thing at all, but it's so different than what I am used to.
3. In my family we are ALWAYS coming up with weird games to play. This is our way of being together and enjoying each other's company. I feel that you can more likely find us all doing some sort of wacky Olympics obstacle, having to guess the smell of the food put in front of us, or jumping over big obstacles of pillows and chairs than all of us just sitting and chatting with each other for hours (not that we don't ever just sit and talk). Some other families may find that talking together for hours is their way of quality time. Not weird, just different.
4. My dad works full time and my mom is a stay at home mom. My dad is our provider and my mom works hard to raise us kids and create a home full of love and peace. To me, it's normal and what I look forward to in the future. I want to be able to be home for my kids and be able to be the one that raises them. I want to be there when they need me, like my mom was there for me. I look around me and that is very different for many people that I know. To them, they may see my family situation as different, or don't understand why, but I love it and wouldn't trade it for the world.
So there are a few things that go on in my home. I love my family culture! But I feel that often times we develop the mindset of "there's only one proper way to do things."We need to make sure we check our assumptions and realize that just because things are different, doesn't mean they are bad! What we do is always going to be "different" to someone else.
So when preparing for life in terms of family, it's important to take note of what values are important to you, and what values are important to your spouse, and implement those into your family. Create you OWN culture. It's ok to branch out and make your own. Think of things that you want to keep from yours, and come up with things you don't want to keep. Do the same with your spouse. Family is something created between the two of you, so make it special, and make it your own!
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