It's crazy how everyone is so different. It blows me away to think about how everyone sees the world differently due to their own personal experiences and situations. Take me and my siblings for example... we were all raised the exact same way, we've all been through the exact same family trials and experiences, but we all turned out COMPLETELY different from each other. I even have a twin and we are polar opposites! Because we are so different, we see things differently. Something that may be a big deal to me could be a minor issue to my brother, or a trial that is easily fought by my sister could be a major battle for me. We all see the world differently. Period.
Since everyone experiences life differently, we all have different reasons or motives behind our actions. You could say "symbols" of why we do things. They may be used to show appreciation, anger, gratitude, love, confusion, sorrow, etc. This describes what's called symbolic interaction which a theory used as an attempt to explain, or make sense of, why something happens. Symbols, if not well understood, can have negative effects on a relationship.
Here's an example...
On my mission I met this super cute couple. We were all talking about marriage and what can be difficult in it. They told me of a situation that the two of them had that was purely miscommunication and misunderstanding. Sarah (names have been changed) loved to cuddle. Cuddling was how she showed her love and appreciate. It probably had to do with the way she was raised. Sarah was raised in the Philippines and adored her family, they were all very close. Anyways, one night Sarah and her husband Chad went to bed. Sarah cuddled with him, as she always did, and fell asleep. Chad woke up to her snoring in his ear and asked her to sleep on her side of the bed. Little did he know Sarah was then heartbroken. She made up all sorts of scenarios in her head about him and his love for her. She took him asking her to stop cuddling as a sign of no longer loving her. She was fearful that he was seeing another woman and didn't even know what to do... she was distraught (a little dramatic of a conclusion if you ask me)! Due to the heartache, Sarah became distant with Chad and didn't talk to him much the following day. Chad didn't know what was up so he got a little upset and also didn't talk much. They ended up not talking to each other at all and didn't even know why. After the long time of awkward silences, they finally talked about it and got the issue off their chests. Sarah told Chad about how she felt and how she wasn't even sure if he loved her. Then Chad, so sad because of his wife's feelings, explained to her what happened. He went on to tell her that he loved her SO MUCH that he couldn't have her cuddling with him and snoring in his ear. He knew that if he allowed her to sleep that way, he wouldn't get a good nights rest, therefore making it difficult to work in the morning. He told her that he needed to sleep well so that he could work extra hard to be able to make a good living in order to support her and the family. THAT was the whole purpose of him asking her to move. Once the issue was talked about and resolved, everything was good between Sarah and Chad and they were happy as ever.
WHAT A CRAZY STORY HUH??? Perfect example!
Well believe it or not, stuff like that happens all the time. Maybe not to that extent, but it does happen.
If these things aren't openly talked about, issues arise in no time. Open communication is everything. It is EXTREMELY important in relationships and family life. How else will we know what is going on with those we love if we can't even talk about it? I don't know about you, but I sure don't know how to read minds! We must break down the walls that all of us put up and be willing to take time to truly understand others.
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