noun
-faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support.
This is the topic of today's post. I've been thinking a lot about marriage lately... what keeps it strong, what tears it apart, the joys and hardships experienced, and I have gained a lot of new insights.
Honestly, I've gotten a little more fearful about the future, but also have learned the importance of working at it and giving your all. Many marriages fail because of a lack of work. You can't expect a marriage to last if you're not willing to constantly try to strengthen it. I feel that many times we picture marriage as a fairytale and don't think about all that it entails. When hardships arise, we don't quite know what to do because it wasn't "in our plans." It's important that we recognize this and realize that we (and our spouse) are in COMPLETE control of what happens within the marriage. We all have the ability to keep it strong and safe! But, we must work together as a team! Not one person can do it alone!
Just recently I've realized quite a few people I know have suffered from divorce. It's becoming more and more common and it just breaks my heart. I keep randomly hearing about some of my friends whose marriages haven't lasted. Now I have NO IDEA what caused the divorces or why, and it's not my business at all. But, I do know that infidelity is a huge cause for many divorces no-a-days (don't get me wrong, I am not saying that this is what my friends have done). I feel like it's EVERYWHERE! It's in movies, on TV, on the radio, in books... everywhere I look I feel that it is brought up. It is SO common now and such a heartbreaking though.
We've learned in class this week that even the strongest of people who never would've even considered cheating have messed up. This is because we get so comfortable that we don't make a conscious effort to strengthen our marriages. Most people don't just one day decide that they're going to cheat, but more times than not it starts with small actions that eventually lead to bigger.
Now I don't want this entry to be a negative one and talk about all of the bad things that people do, I want the complete opposite. So, I'm going to discuss a few things that can/must be done to remain faithful, loyal, and have complete fidelity to your spouse.
-There must be boundaries that are kept within a marriage. Certain things must remain between the two of you. That's where loyalty comes in. When a spouse goes out and discusses sensitive or private things with other friends or family members, trust issues are formed and it can cause issues in the future.
-Marital problems should be kept between you and your spouse, and a professional/religious leader if necessary. Grudges with family/friends last a lot longer than they need to sometimes. So, if someone talks badly about their spouse to a trusted friend or family member, their viewpoint of them may change... and even if things get better in the future, they still may keep the same opinions and think that things are still going badly.
-Avoid confiding in an individual of the opposite sex, besides your spouse. Many times, these topics discussed are close to the heart and very personal. Confiding in others can create a stronger relationship between the two of you, so obviously not a good idea with someone rather than your spouse.
-Your spouse is your best friend. It's hard, but when one gets married, friendships with the opposite sex many times must be cut off, or very distant. What good is it to have a close friend of the opposite gender after you're married anyways? What's the point? It's important that your friends are your spouse's friends as well. Do things as couples. Avoid personal chats with friends of the opposite gender on social media, and remain open with your spouse.
-Give your WHOLE heart. Don't hold back on anything. When you marry, you are COMPLETELY committed to your spouse and no one else.
-Keep your thoughts positive and on your spouse. NO ONE ELSE.
-AVOID PORNOGRAPHY!!! It is so dangerous and destroys marriages! We all marry someone with imperfections, but we still love them because it's REAL. You're marriage and relationship is REAL. What a wonderful thing that is!
-Be kind and loving on the inside!
-Openly communicate and talk about your problems or concerns. No one can change unless they know what they are doing wrong.
These are only a few ways to keep your marriage strong and remain faithful to your spouse, but they are SO important... every single one of them.
Spencer W. Kimball nails it right on the head with this powerful quote:
"There are those married people who permit their eyes to wander and their hearts to become vagrant, who think it is not improper to flirt a little, to share their hearts and have desire for someone other than the wife or the husband. The Lord says in no uncertain terms: 'Thous shalt love they wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.' And, when the Lord says ALL thy heart, it allows for no sharing nor dividing nor depriving. And, to the woman it is paraphrased: 'Thou shalt love thy husband with ALL thy heart and shalt cleave unto him and none else.' The words NONE ELSE eliminate everyone and everything. The spouse then becomes preeminent in the life of the husband or wife, and neither social life nor occupational life nor political life nor any other interest nor person nor thing shall ever take precedence over the companion spouse."
POWERFUL! Cleave unto your spouses! And if not married yet (like me) prepare yourself for when that day comes so that we can be as faithful and loyal as the Lord would want us to be.
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